


Cool

by SquigglyAverageJoe



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:47:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21954637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SquigglyAverageJoe/pseuds/SquigglyAverageJoe
Summary: My gift to thatnerdcalledalex, surprise, I’m your secret Santa! I hope this doesn’t seem too rushed, and I’m sorry for the long wait, and I went kind of light on wintery elements and heavy on the Vidow and it might not make any sense? Regardless, I tried really hard, and here’s your gift! Happy Holidays!For some reason—in a modern setting—Vio and Shadow have signed up for a field trip over winter break with their friends, and their friends are determined to make them a couple.
Relationships: Shadow Link/Vio Link
Comments: 5
Kudos: 64





	Cool

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thatnerdcalledalex](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=thatnerdcalledalex).



“Okay, I don’t know exactly what’s going on between the two of you,” she started. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Shadow couldn’t help but feel like her giant blue eyes were seeing too much of him, piercing through his skin to the muscle beneath it, until she was somehow seeing his skeleton. “But I know it’s something, so...care to tell me?”

He snorted and busied himself with searching through his backpack for something he wasn’t quite sure why he needed just yet, even though it was for no other reason then to look away from Zelda’s gaze and hide the color in his face—he could feel the heat pooling into his cheeks and that would be very bad. “‘Care to tell me?’ You make it sound like I have a choice.”

“Well, you kind of do. It’s tell me so I know, or...” She crept closer until her pink skirt was brushing against his hand. “I torment you by teasing you whenever I get the chance to, and we have about thirty minutes before my parents are going to come to pick me up from this library, so...thirty minutes of torture. In other words—spill.”

“It’s literally nothing,” he insisted.

“Mhm,” she responded in that way that meant she wasn’t buying it. 

The two of them had been friends for a small amount of time. Actually, they had known each other for a long time, since elementary, actually—but until eighth grade, her, Green, Blue, and Red had done everything in their power to avoid him and his only friend had really only been Vio, who hadn’t cared too much when he frequently got in fights and got suspended, or at least, hadn’t used that as a reason to avoid or fear him. And then, about the middle of eighth grade, Vio had invited him to sit at his lunch table with his friends.

Oh, goddesses, just thinking about Vio made his heart pound.

“Ooh, you’re blushing!” Zelda shouted, grinning. No, he had started to really be friends with Zelda during orientation for freshmen when they were in the same group and super clueless and terrified. They had gone from hanging around each other because they were around each other, to hanging out at he library to study with her other friends. Or maybe Shadow was the other friend.

“Yeah, because this is embarrassing to talk about!”

“Embarrassing because I speak the truth and you don’t want to admit it?” Zelda suggested. She was pretty. For a while, Shadow had tried to convince himself he had a crush on her, with her blonde hair and large blue eyes and pale skin, and then she had that one purple top that fit around her tightly, but after three weeks of pretending to be straight he realized that was not the case. He had feelings for another blue eyed, blonde haired student—a male one. In purple, always. (Except that one time he wore green colors and couldn’t tell who was Green and who was Vio.)

“Okay, fine...I...Vio...l-like...” His throat tightened until the words caught in his throat but Zelda nodded like the nonsense spilling out of his lips made sense.

“Figured as much. It’s really obvious. You’re always looking at him.” Shadow flushed but she just kept going. “Why don’t you tell him?”

He drummed his fingers on the desk in front of him. “Because I already have.”

“Wait, really?” She gasped. “What did he say?”

“...It was like, six months ago. I just told him that at s-some point...my feelings had passed the platonic threshold and...Yeah, that’s a total lie. Um...So, Vio knew I had a crush on someone but didn’t know who, so the joke was he would try to figure out who it was or I didn’t have to tell him until the new year, but...” It was the twenty ninth right now. Had things gone according to plan, Shadow would have a couple of days still to summon up his courage. That had been the plan—while Vio tried to figure everything out, he would try to find a way to tell him. But...he um, texted me one night. Said he had taken a moment to think about how I was always around him...complimenting him...being nice to him and...being so vague with my hints about the guy and...Well, he asked if it was him and I knew there was no point in denying it.”

“Oh, that’s horrible.”

“Yeah—things were awkward for a couple of days. We decided our friendship came first after that, and well...got over ourselves pretty quickly, and...for awhile, everything was okay, and...my feelings went away. They’re back now; like a really obnoxious boomerang.”

“That’s awful.”

“Yeah—I...don’t think I should tell him again.”

“But you didn’t actually tell him last time, did you?”

“I don’t care, I don’t want things to be like that for any amount of time. Plus, we’re going on that weird drama field trip tomorrow—and I’m gonna be in the same room as him. Also in the same room as him, Blue, Green, and Red, but you know, I don’t want to be around him for so long and...I can’t.”

“You think the two of you are going to be sharing a bed?” Zelda giggled.

“Well, you and Erune are going to be sharing a room, too, right? You gonna share a bed?”

“That’s weird.”

“Exactly. I...haven’t really thought of him like that. I don’t even want to accept the fact that I’m...” He sighed. “My parents would kill me if they ever found out. They wouldn’t ever want me to be around him, and...” He shook his head.

“Right...how is all that going?”

“Last night, my parents invited a friend over to hold a secret, homophobic meeting over glasses of wine at the dinner table to discuss if I was gay or not. I mean, the friend told me that if I was gay, she’d fully support me no matter what my parents did and that they were being unfair but...they suspect something. I insisted I was straight.”

Zelda was quiet for a moment—all the other library goers around them were too—even Blue was being unusually tight lipped. Shadow could hear bits and pieces of the conversation between Red, Green and Vio, in a whisper. Something about trees. Finally, she spoke up. “I’m worried about you.”

“I’m fine, it’s fine—“

“It is not fine.” It came out as a hiss—Shadow had noted that Zelda rarely got like this, but when she got angry, she somehow managed to glare without narrowing her eyes and the room would drop a couple degrees. “Even my parents aren’t that bad, you shouldn’t have to put up with all that.”

“It’s fine—I can survive another three and a half months and...this field trip is getting me out of the house. Away from the homophobia and straight people and in a probably really lame festival where I’m gonna meet a bunch of thespians.”

“And lesbians,” Zelda said. “Drama people tend to be gay, Shadow.”

“That’s overgeneralizing, Zelda.”

“We’re both queer and in drama.”

“Okay, okay, it was a stupid joke.” He sighed. “This is honestly gonna suck, maybe I should stay home.”

“But what about Vio.”

“Vio’s a part of the reason I’m not sure if I want to go!”

“But you have to go! You’re a part of the group now, it won’t be as much fun without you!”

He couldn’t come up with an argument, but he was still unsure. “I’m gonna go use the bathroom.” He stood up.

“You can’t escape this conversation,” Zelda said.

“Well, I can escape this room.”

The halls seemed weirdly empty, today, Vio noted, moving some hair out of his face. He had ran a little late to the library and then, not even two seconds at the table with his friends where he usually sat, he wondered if the library had that one book he had been gawking at online and had gotten up to investigate it.

They always did this during winter break—got ready for the horrible cramming and reviewing that would ensue once school started back up. The only thing different was, they usually did this on the thirtieth, but they were going to spend the thirtieth on their field trip thing.

Some part of him was honestly kind of excited—despite what all his friends said, constantly teasing him about how he was a nerd and a bookworm and whatever—he honestly ind of hated school. Whoever took the wonderful idea of a place where children can learn and socialize and grow as people and turned it into a dystopian building that trapped children and made them feel like they were constantly being judged and would never be good enough for the world outside really needed something—a therapist, a nap, a time out in the corner, he didn’t know, he just knew he hated them. But it would be kind of nice, to hang out with his friends on an overnight field trip thing.

The door of the boys bathroom opened suddenly and Vio stopped so when it swung out, he didn’t walk into it. Shadow was grumbling something and wiping his hands on his jeans.

“They still haven’t stocked the bathroom in paper towels?” Vio asked. It hadn’t been the last time he went to the library either.

Shadow turned around, apparently realizing Vio was there. “Yeah, no, they haven’t.”

Vio smiled at him. “Probably for the best—I swear that the paper towel dispenser thing is about to fall right off the wall, we probably shouldn’t be using it.”

“Yeah,” Shadow agreed, laughing just a bit too loud.

“So, you’re going on the field trip tomorrow, right?” Vio asked. “I’ve been wanting to hang out with you recently, but...you always seem...busy.”

“Oh, yeah, I’m totally going! I-I’d love to hang out with you some, because like...school sucks and...drama’s...cool.”

Vio nodded. “Yeah. I have to admit that I do like drama a fair bit more than I was expecting to. I think it’s your fault—remember eighth grade, I can’t remember which class, but we analyzed parts of Shakespeare and you just jumped at the idea of being Olivia and we acted out that scene in front of the entire class?”

Shadow smiled, almost fondly. “My father had a daughter loved a man. As it might be, perhaps, I were a woman would your lordship.”

Vio frowned. “Doesn’t Viola say that to Orsino?”

“I think so.”

“Well...” Vio grinned. “Lady, you are the cruel’st she alive if you lead these graces to the grave and leave the world no copy.” 

“Yeah—that’s a quote from Viola. I mean, you had to play her, because...letters...”

“Yeah?” Vio asked.

“Your name...V-V...”

“Take your time.”

“I give up.”

Vio laughed. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, during first hour, on the bus, right?”

“Right.”

Vio was pretty sure Shadow was grinning as he walked away. The moment his back was turned, he pulled out his phone and texted Zelda. “Don’t worry—he’s going now.” 

Yeah, Vio’s definitely straight, Shadow thought. The lobby connected to the auditorium had walls mostly made of glass that let the sunshine in until the room was so brightly lit, it was difficult to tell that outdoors was actually so cold. A handful of students around him had bags packed, laying on the floor or against a wall while they chatted amongst themselves, waiting for the rest of the people who were coming on this field trip to show. There’s no way he’s not, and I mean...there’s always that one awkward heterosexual in a group full of queer people. It makes sense its him, because he’s the most attractive and all the girls are tripping over themselves to ask him out.

He sighed. Of course, Vio showed little to no interest in dating, even when the most courageous of the bunch took the liberty of asking him out. Even when the most attractive of the bunch, or the most intelligent, or the most popular, or the parts that were all three. So, maybe he was asexual or aromantic.

Maybe both. Maybe no one had a shot with him.

Shadow sighed. Maybe that was better in a way, for him at least. Yeah, he would definitely never end up with Vio, but he’d never have to see anyone else with him. Never have to see him fall in love with someone else, end up with someone else, marry someone else. They were too young, Shadow was pretty sure, but every person in every relationship around him seemed convinced that the love they had with their partner was going to last forever, and in a way, he supposed it made sense that with how horrible the world was around them, constantly changing, they would want something to stay the same. Some people were already talking about marriage—were they just weird people or was Shadow weird for not knowing if that was what he wanted?

Well, he knew what he wanted. He wanted Vio.

He crossed his arms. Where was Vio, anyway?

He leaned up against the wall. To his right, there was a small ledge sort of things, a window with a sheet of metal over it, where they sold concessions for plays and stuff but was covered when it wasn’t in use. He sat on the ledge, his legs dangling off the ground while he waited. The teacher was talking to a handful of students nearby, their words nothing but a murmur to Shadow.

Finally, Vio entered the lobby, in a white button up shirt that fit him perfectly and a purple jacket that Shadow remembered buying him for his birthday, and a purple beanie that matched it perfectly. He was in a conversation with Green—about trees, it sounded like, weird.—but it stopped when they entered. Vio smiled at him and his heart almost stopped beating, he swore.

“Took you long enough,” Shadow said, hoping his tone sounded joking and not breathless or irritated.

“Sorry, Green went with me to grab some coffee, and then we got a text from Erune and she just totally forgot so she was scrambling to get everything to get here and—anyway, she’ll be here in five minutes assuming she doesn’t get pulled over for speeding.“

“Well...at least she’s coming.” Shadow actually had mixed feelings about Erune, but he knew the others liked her. 

“Yeah.” Vio moved some of his bangs out of his face. “Did you bring everything—you aren’t just going out in that, right? It’s like twenty degrees outside.”

Shadow looked over himself—he was in a t-shirt, a hoodie and jeans. “It’s fine. Buses tend to have heaters.”

Vio shook his head and took off his scarf, wrapping it around Shadow’s neck. “Vio, I’m fine,” he argued. “What about you—“

“My jacket is very warm, Shadow,” he said, calmly before reaching into his pockets and pulling out a pair of gloves and shoving them into Shadow’s hands. “I’ll be fine.”

“Scarves don’t even keep you warm,” Shadow insisted, but he decided to stop arguing when he realized just how soft it was and—

—it smelled like lavender. He sighed. 

“Heaters don’t always work,” Vio said, meaning he had won the argument.

Shadow decided he was okay with his loss.

After about fifteen more minutes, Erune came in, bringing with her a pastel green backpack that had a sweater sleeve hanging out but the minute she entered, she crammed it back inside and zipped it all up and the teacher nodded his head and they all moved towards the bus outside.

Shadow walked side by side with Vio—because they were together so often and usually walked everywhere like this, Shadow was used to suppressing the urge to grab onto Vio’s hand, but through some sort of miracle, Vio’s fingers laced into his tightly. For a minute, Shadow wasn’t sure—the bus was in sight, he had put on Vio’s gloves and told himself that it was like indirectly holding hands with Vio because Vio’s hands had been inside them, but he looked down and saw Vio’s hand and then looked back up at him, alarmed.

Vio blinked. “I’m not...making you uncomfortable, am I?” He asked.

“No, of course not!” He shouted loudly, way louder than he meant to. He just didn’t want Vio to let go. “I was just...surprised. I’ve never taken you as someone who likes physical contact...you know how straight guys are—if hugging is gay, then hand holding must be really gay.”

Vio shrugged. “It doesn’t mean anything, the fact that I’m holding hands with a guy doesn’t define my sexuality. I just want to—I can take whatever homophobic jerkwad wants to argue about that.”

“Of course you could,” Shadow breathed. He remembered that, back in middle school, Vio had been on the softball team with Shadow. A lot of people thought it was just for girls, but the team had basically let in anyone who could hold a bat. He remembered him and Vio spent so much time on the field that Vio had actually gotten a six pack. Honestly, Vio was just stronger than he looked—once, Blue had made a joke about how Vio was a nerd and didn’t work out enough and in response, Vio had torn a phone book in half. Shadow remembered laughing as Blue’s jaw hit the floor. Only idiots really messed with him.

Honestly, his entire group of friends seemed invincible. Basically no one disturbed them. It was actually kind of weird.

He looked over at Zelda, desperately, and she had definitely noticed them start holding hands but all she had to offer was a helpless shrug.

After a minute on the bus, Shadow took off his gloves and immediately, Vio grabbed onto his hand again, almost nonchalantly as he cracked open a book and started reading. 

A while passed—usually, the drive wouldn’t be much longer than two hours, but for some reason, the bus was going painfully slow and the route seemed a lot longer so the estimate was about four hours before they reached the high school the thing was supposed to be held in. Shadow remembered it was nicknamed WHATIF but had no idea what the letters meant and felt stupid asking. Something about theater arts, he was sure.

Across the aisle from them, Zelda sat with Erune—in front of them was Green, but turned around so he could talk with them. After thirty minutes had passed, Zelda leaned over. “Want some pocky?”

Shadow was about to say no, but he noticed Vio close his book and look over, “Sure.”

“Okay,” Shadow said.

“I brought like, way too much pocky,” Zelda said, tossing a box at them.

“No such thing,” Erune insisted. By the looks of it, she was knitting on the bus.

“My backpack is full of pocky,” Zelda said. “I think I’ve brought too much.”

Shadow caught it easily and handed the box to Vio, even though that meant he let go of his hand.

Vio tore it open easily and opened the bag with his teeth, pulling out one. “Your nails are painted,” he pointed out, holding the open end of the bag to Shadow.

Shadow honestly didn’t like pocky, but if Vio was offering it, he wanted it. “Yeah, I...got bored the other day.”

Vio placed the pocky in between them and used that hand to grab Shadow’s hand, bringing it closer to his face. “You like, gave yourself a manicure.”

Shadow’s mouth was suddenly dry. “Yeah.”

“It’s nice—it’s pretty.”

“Thanks.”

The drive continued, Vio kept holding his hand. Shadow kept catching himself looking at their intertwined hands.

Eventually, Vio noticed. “Shadow, if it’s weirding you out, we can stop.”

“What? No, it’s fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” The look in Vio’s eyes was gentle—had his eyes always been that beautiful of a shade of blue? Like the ocean, or like sapphires, or like the sky, or like whatever else people tended to compare blue eyes to. 

“You’re not, you’re so not,” Shadow insisted. “It’s just...you’re hands are warm. And kind of soft. But like, really warm, mine are always so cold, it’s...nice.”

Vio smiled at him, in the gentle way he looked at him, kind of. “Alright then.”

He put a pocky into his mouth and then cracked open his book again. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Zelda smirking and Green watching them.

They stopped for lunch at a diner chain restaurant place that Shadow didn’t know the name of and the two of them shared a booth with Zelda, Green, Red and Blue. Vio made little to no effort on hiding the fact that he was holding hands with Shadow.

Shadow kept frowning behind his menu. Everything was relatively cheap, but he only had fifteen dollars and there was a total of three meals that all students on this field trip would need to pay for themselves meaning Shadow could spend five dollars. Honestly, he wasn’t that hungry—the butterflies in his stomach would probably make it difficult to eat (Vio’s thumb kept drawing circles into his hand!) but the others would notice if he didn’t eat...

“You okay?” Vio asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

Vio frowned—they locked eyes. As if he had read Shadow’s mind, he lifted the menu back up. “You don’t have enough money to buy anything, do you?”

“Honestly, I’m not even that hungry, Vio.”

“I’ll pay,” he said.

“Oh, Vio, you don’t have to waste your money on me—“

“I won’t because it’s not a waste, really, Shadow. You know I’ve been making eight hundred a month working in my parent’s shop, it’s not a problem.” Under the table, Vio squeezed his hand.

“You’re the best.” That was an understatement.

Vio smiled. “So are you.” He set the menu down. “Can you get up, I need to use the bathroom.”

Shadow swallowed the lump in his throat and stood up. Vio slipped his hand out of his while he walked past.

He sat back down, his head almost spinning—then he realized Zelda was snickering next to him. “What’s so funny?” He asked.

Red was just barely managing to hide his grin behind a menu. “Nothing,” he replied.

Shadow stared at Red for a minute longer and he burst into laughter, grabbing onto Green’s shoulder as if he was about to double over when he was already sitting down.

“What?” Shadow asked.

“The two of you,” Blue started. “Are so freaking gay.”

Zelda snorted into her palm.

Shadow sighed. “No. Vio’s straight.”

“He is buying you lunch,” Green pointed out, putting way too much emphasis on the ‘is.’ Like, more emphasis than a normal person would put. “I mean—if the four of us weren’t here—“He gestured to himself, Red, Blue and Zelda. “—It’d almost be like a date.”

Shadow flushed. “It’s not a date.”

“Yeah, because we’re here,” Blue said.

Zelda choked on the lemonade she ordered before grabbing a napkin and trying to muffle her laughter.

“He’s not interested.” Shadow crossed his arms.

“So...” Red started with a sly grin. “You admit you are?”

Instead of answering, he realized he backed himself in a corner and instead chose to hide behind the menu and continued his search for the cheapest thing on the menu so Vio didn’t spend too much on him. Everyone at the table but him seemed to find that hilarious.

Vio came back after a few minutes, sliding into the spot next to Shadow and pulling out a small bottle of hand sanitizer. “You guys haven’t ordered yet, right?”

“No,” Zelda said. At some point, she got herself back under control, but she still threw a glance at Shadow and winked when Vio grabbed onto his hand again.

He could admit to himself that he was a bit more than interested.

The bus ride to WHATIF continued and somehow, Shadow had managed to get closer to Vio—he smelled like lavender faintly but now, he smelled more like grape soda and it was a weirdly pleasant mixture. 

Vio was still reading the same book, but was noticeably approaching the end. Everyone around them was talking, but Shadow didn’t know what sort of conversation to hold with Vio, especially since he seemed absorbed into his book.

He didn’t put it down but he did look up, turning his head until he locked eyes with Shadow. “Have you looked at that new building they’re making near the library?” Vio asked.

“Yeah, I’ve seen it.” He didn’t add that he mostly saw it when he went to the library to hang out with Vio.

“They say they’re going to turn it into an apartment building and apparently, they’re supposed to be nice. I’ve been doing some research and looking at them. They’re like, two bedroom and one bathroom apartments and everything is super modern and the prices don’t look too bad. They’re supposed to be done in about three months.”

“That’s cool.”

“The weird thing is a lot of people don’t seem to be interested.”

“And you know this how?”

“I contacted the people there. I’m thinking about moving in when it’s all finished, but...”

“But...?”

“You turn eighteen in about three months, right?”

Shadow’s heart skipped a beat. “About.”

“I was thinking...we could rent out an apartment. Together. I think you’d make a good flat mate.”

“How much is the rent?” Shadow asked.

“About eight hundred and forty five dollars a month,” Vio answered. “But it’s really good. There’s a dishwasher, and air conditioning, and these beautiful hardwood floors, and there’s a pool, and it’s pet friendly, and it’s never been lived in before, so we won’t come in with it smelling like cigarette smoke or anything.”

“That sounds amazing, Vio, but...I don’t even have a job just yet. My parents won’t let me get one, I can’t pay the rent on that place.”

“Shadow—I have about thirty thousand in the bank and the amount just keeps growing because all my relatives are rich and I’m the youngest in the family. I have a job that has me earning eight hundred a month and I have forty thousand in scholarships, so I won’t need too much money for school. I can cover it for a little while. Until you get a job and can start paying some of the rent.”

“I’m not gonna be able to pay you ba—“

“Shadow, come on. It’ll be great.”

He swallowed. The idea of living with Vio sounded fantastic—so much so, his chest tightened and his throat threatened to close up. “Do...all of the apartments there cost that much?” Shadow asked. “I get that it’s great there, but if there’s one that costs just a little less I’ll feel a bit better about it.”

“Oh, well, there is one,” Vio started and Shadow internally cursed because he hadn’t been expecting an answer so quick. “That costs seven hundred and sixty a month—it doesn’t have a dishwasher, so we’ll have to do it all by hand, but that’s nothing too bad.”

“...I’ll think about it.”

“Okay.” Vio squeezed his hand just a bit tighter.

The bus was stopping. Shadow opened his eyes—the bus was too bright. He groaned—then realized that whatever he was leaned against was moving.

He jolted away—Vio looked at him. They had stopped holding hands and Shadow had fallen asleep on him! There was also a white blanket on his lap as if Vio had given that to him. “Sorry,” Shadow said.

“It’s fine,” Vio shrugged. “I get the feeling you didn’t sleep well last night.”

“I was watching Giraffe Town before I went to sleep and I found it really disturbing.”

Vio chuckled and took the blanket off of him, folding it quickly and shoving it back in his backpack. Slowly, they all filed out of the bus.

Somehow, he got seperated from Vio and Green was next to him instead. “You said his name while you were asleep,” he told him.

“What?”

Green smiled in a way that made Shadow a bit uncomfortable because he knew this was bad by the look in Green’s eyes. “While you were asleep, you said Vio’s name.”

“Oh, goddesses, please tell me you’re joking.”

“...He let go of your hand, but I think he was smiling.”

Shadow shook his head and glanced around. He didn’t know where Vio was. “He’s straight.”

“Sure.”

The first thing Shadow noticed was that the school WHATIF was being held in was obnoxiously large—the outside had mostly been glass windows, but the inside was spacious and modern and as they made their way to the auditorium, Shadow couldn’t help but look around. This school had trophy cases that were very full and not only that, they were almost all not sports related. It was all for band or orchestra or arts or something, and posters on the wall clearly showed the clubs the school offered.

Vio nudged him in the ribs. “Look, GSA.”

“What’s that?” He followed Vio’s gaze to a poster that had a bunch of flags drawn on it—the trans flag, the gay flag, the lesbian flag, the nonbinary flag, the asexual, the pansexual, the bisexual, the agender, and what looked like the polyamorous flag, all on the edges while the center showed in pretty, white cursive Come join GSA! 

“Gay-Straight alliance, or...maybe it’s Gender-Sexuality Allegiance , I dunno. Queer stuff. I wish our school had that.”

“Yeah.” 

“Goddesses, this school is great.” He followed behind Vio closely until they reached the auditorium with the rest of their class. It was large, but simple, with a nice stage and a ton of seats, you know, like an auditorium. On the stage was a large screen showing what schools were attending and what productions their drama departments were running. Vio sat next to Shadow, sticking close—Vio’s hand rested on the arm between heir two seats and after a minute of confusion, he grabbed Vio’s hand again.

Shadow didn’t entirely know what the people on stage were saying. Vio had leaned a bit closer to the side, to him, in his seat and if Shadow tried really hard to focus, he could hear Vio breathing.

He didn’t entirely know when he started developing feelings for Vio—there had always been something, he was pretty sure. A warm feeling in his stomach, a pleasant buzz in his chest, but it was more of just knowing that someone cared about him, knowing he had someone. And then, he wasn’t sure. The warm feeling in his stomach turned into a fluttering, and butterflies rose into his chest, flittering about and crawling on his heart and finding their way into his lungs until he could barely breathe. And it was paired with a heat in his face that he wished didn’t show up so much on his pale skin, and a weakness in his knees that almost had him falling. And he would just spends nights at home, laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, his phone on his chest and he would feel this emptiness in his chest.

But Vio didn’t make him feel empty, not really. And being away from Vio didn’t exactly make him feel empty—Vio made him feel whole, but...he knew he was whole. He didn’t always feel it, if he was honest, but he knew he was whole and Vio didn’t complete him, he just made the world a bit more clear, a bit more bright, a bit more enjoyable. A lot more clear. A lot more bright. A lot more enjoyable. Vio didn’t make him feel whole—Vio made him feel like there was this other piece to him, this other piece he didn’t need, per se, but one he wanted, just to feel more and every time he was around Vio, he couldn’t help but think that that was accurate. He didn’t need Vio, but he didn’t want to go without him. He wanted Vio at his side for the rest of his life and he would do anything in his power to keep him there.

Was this normal? Was it normal to want to grab Vio by the waist and bury his face into his chest and listen to his heartbeat and breathing and feel his own relax in his arms? Was it normal to want to kiss him and hold his hand and...and live with him, in an apartment on the nicer side of town, almost like a couple?

Could he seriously do that with Vio, though? Could he really live in the same apartment as Vio and be so close to him like that but know that he’d never end up with him like the way he wanted to? Could he risk watching Vio end up with someone, or...not end up with anyone? Wouldn’t that be worse in a way—knowing he definitely didn’t have a chance because Vio wasn’t just not attracted to him, he wasn’t attracted to anyone, and nothing he could do would ever grab Vio’s attention long enough to keep it there in the way he wanted?

Would these feelings go away? Would he one day be able to look into Vio’s eyes without his heart jumping into his throat? Would he be able to imagine Vio with someone else without it hurting so bad? He wanted to ask someone. He wanted to tell someone all about this, all about how perfectly his hand fit in Vio’s, about how he had lended Shadow his scarf and it smelled just like Vio, about how sometimes...they’d lock eyes and Shadow would feel just the tiniest bit of hope bloom in his chest and wonder if maybe he did somehow have a chance after all?

Would it be...okay to stay friends with Vio when he wanted so desperately to be more than that? Originally, they chose to overcome the awkwardness to stay friends, but now it wasn’t the awkwardness, it was the urge to no longer be friends, would Shadow be able to get over that or was being friends with Vio just gonna keep hurting? He wanted Vio in his life, though, he was so lucky to have him in whatever way he could have him, even if it was just in a platonic way—he didn’t want to lose that. But he didn’t need Vio...

If only my parents weren’t so straight, he thought, glumly. Then I could ask them and they could give me gay advice. Or...bi, maybe. I dunno. Advice.

He wanted him. He knew that. 

“Shadow?” Vio said, softly.

Shadow blinked—the auditorium was empty. How long had he been spaced out, thinking?

Vio smiled gently at him. “We need to attend those workshops we signed up for, remember?”

Right. Shadow remembered—he definitely remembered. He remembered that they had all agreed on ones to do together. He was doing one on make-up, as much as Blue teased him for it, but one of the main focuses was bruises and cuts and gore and stuff that Shadow knew he would enjoy. And then there was stage combat, with stage weapons, that’d be fun. Then there was ones about storytelling and plot which Zelda and Vio had agreed was the way to go. And...then there was one that Erune and Red had agreed to with mixed reactions from the rest of the group—the one about romantic scenes in productions. That was one Shadow was kind iffy about.

He followed behind Vio as they all cheerfully made their way to their decided work shops, the stage combat one. Shadow still was thinking about everything.

At some point, Vio grabbed onto his hand and pulled him to his side. Some people in the hallway, also on their way towards workshops, it seemed, but different ones that took them to different parts of the school, there had been a lot of workshops to sign up for, glanced at them, some nodding, as if in approval.

Shadow didn’t realize how hard he was gripping Vio’s hand.

He struggling with paying attention to the rules of stage combat, but he knew the basics already. Always keep in mind safety, make sure your partner’s okay with what you’re doing, stand the right distance away...and then the teacher had divided them into pairs of his choice and they had to come up with a short scenario as to why they were fighting and—long story short, Vio winked at him when he went in front of the class with Zelda, and when she was shouting about the toaster Shadow stole, he stepped too close, one of his knees almost gave out and his face somehow actually collided with her hand and he was holding a tissue up to his bleeding nose while he watched Green and Vio sword fight. (Blue had ended up with a dark skinned, red haired girl with braces and their scene had literally just been the girl beating him up over stealing her waifu.)

Shadow didn’t even remember walking towards the storytelling workshop place, just remembered something about penguins and then they had to go to the romantic scenes which was called something stupid, Shadow was pretty sure.

Shadow hadn’t been paying attention, but he still had somehow heard perfectly what they were supposed to do. They were going to find a partner and they had to act out a specific scene that was going to involve them doing something with some sort of romantic thing going on and it was up to them to act it out as best as they could, but were more than welcomed to leave out the parts that their partners didn’t feel comfortable doing.

Vio grabbed his hand when the partners thing was mentioned.

And all of a sudden, Shadow was reading a brief script from a larger play, one where two guys who had been friends for a long time confessed their feelings to each other on a balcony of a party and Shadow immediately decided he hated this play.

“Okay—we only have like, seven minutes before we have to watch other people present what they got,” Vio said—Shadow noticed the way his eyes moved across the paper. “So...this will be interesting.”

“I...don’t think I’ll be any good at this,” Shadow said. 

“What are you talking about? I’ve seen you on stage, you’re amazing. You were robbed of the lead last quarter, okay?”

Shadow shrugged.

“Alright, should we just...start and then play it by year?”

Shadow nodded, his mouth suddenly feeling dry. Goddesses, this was bad, this was so, so bad.

“Alright...” Vio cleared his throat and looked at Shadow, his eyes gentle and soft, looking closely at him. “James...I...I feel so stupid right now, but...there’s something I think I should tell you.”

“I’m in love with you,” Shadow said.

Vio frowned. “Um...that’s my line.”

He flushed. “Right, right, sorry.”

“Okay...let’s take it from the top.” Vio moved some of his bangs out of his face. “James,” he said and even though that wasn’t Shadow’s name, he felt like he had to respond. “I...” Vio glanced at the script. “I’m going to feel stupid, more so than I do right now, but...there’s something I think I should tell you.”

Shadow snorted, but he wanted to throw himself in Vio’s arms and have that kiss that was too many lines away. “You make it sound like you’re confessing to murder.”

“...I’m not, but...I’m in love with you! I-I don’t feel like I have a chance because you’re just so perfect, but...” He slowly placed a hand over Shadow’s face, his gaze almost asking if that was alright. Considering what Shadow was going to do, it was more than alright. “...I can’t imagine life without you...I want you so bad...I want to...” His lips formed the word but didn’t make a sound. 

Shadow leaned closer, wrapping his arms around his neck and leaning closer. Vio didn’t hesitate to put one of his hands on Shadow’s lower back before continuing. “I...love you, James. I just want to...”

Shadow felt himself leaning forward. “Want to what?”

Vio’s other hand moved slowly to trace his lips with the pad of his thumb. “Can I kiss you?” Shadow wasn’t sure if he was just reading the line or if he was actually asking for consent. Did he want Vio to kiss him? Of course he did, but it wouldn’t mean anything. He wanted it to mean something, of course...He wanted to kiss Vio.

Shadow didn’t answer, really, not with words. He stood on his toes and pushed his lips against Vio’s in a gentle way. It was just pressing his lips against Vio’s, but it lasted so long—Shadow didn’t know how to kiss. Did he make it escalate? Did he pull away now? Had he been kissing for too long?

Vio’s hands slipped onto his shoulders and pushed him away, but he went back to cupping Shadow’s face. “James,” he said. Right. Not Shadow. Vio was just acting. “I...You look so handsome like this. I could kiss you all night, you know that?” His thumb went back to his lips. “I mean that...” Shadow placed a hand on Vio’s chest. “I love you so much...” His hand rose to move some hair out of Shadow’s face and then both of them were cupping his face and he leaned his forehead closer to them. “I’m...I’m so sorry...” Vio pulled away sharply.

“It’s...’I’m sorry for running a car into your ex,’” Shadow said. He wanted to go back to kissing.

“Right,” Vio said, but he looked distant. “Right, sorry. I...I um need to go to the bathroom, sorry, I just...” Vio took a step back.

“Oh, okay. I’ll just...wait to practice more.”

Vio didn’t come back until there was so little time for their scene that even when the teacher insisted they have a turn, they had to be dismissed not even thirty seconds in.

Shadow wondered if he just did it really badly.

“Sorry for taking so long; I got lost,” Vio lied as they walked out.

“It’s cool,” Shadow said. It was basically a mumble—he picked at a string on his hoodie. “Two girls acted out our scene too—and two others acted out a later scene where your character grabs mine by the hair, throws him on the ground and goes on a ‘I deserve you’ rant where it’s revealed that he has been actively attempting to off everyone in his life so he can isolate him and force him to pursue him because he’ll be the only one in his life who will love him.”

Vio swallowed. “Cool.”

Green cleared his throat, breaking the awful silence between him and Vio. “We’re going to Shadow’s makeup thing, right?”

“Yeah, because he’s gay,” Blue said. “And likes makeup.”

Red punched him in the arm—Shadow doubt it hunted or anything. “Oh, don’t be mean, Blue! Plus, it’ll be cool to look at what Shadow’s into and I mean—we aren’t learning how to do a smokey eye or anything, we’re gonna do like bruises, right?”

“Also,” Erune said. “You are wearing high heels.”

Blue stopped walking and looked down before locking eyes with Erune and scoffing. “They’re stilettos, Erune.” He then continued walking. “It was just a joke—Shadow can be as effeminate as he wants. He’s cool—no homo, though. I mean—yeah, we’re all queer or whatever, but like...no homo towards you specifically.”

“No homo towards you, either,” Shadow muttered. He kind of wanted to grab Vio’s hand again but considering they just kissed, that would probably be a bad decision.

They were on the floor level, and according to the maps they had been given the room hey had to go to was easily accessed by a staircase across the school. They walked by the glass doors of the entrance and for a moment, Red stopped. “Guys, it’s snowing!”

The thing about Erune was that, when it came to nature, she had this weird sort of childish excitement only Red could match—and she freaking loved snow. “We should go outside! I mean, we have like fifteen minutes to find the room, right?”

Reluctantly, Green agreed, “A couple minutes wouldn’t hurt.”

Vio watched as Red excitedly tugged Blue towards the doors. “You want to step outside?” He asked.

His eyes were looking too intently at him, as if he was searching for something—what, Shadow had no clue. “No, I’ll stay inside.” He shoved his hands inside his pockets and felt the gloves Vio had gave him earlier and his heart throbbed.

Vio nodded. “Alright then.” He stepped outside with the rest of them—Shadow thought that meant he was alone, but then he realized Zelda was standing right next to him. They nodded at each other, both awkwardly acknowledging the other’s existence before waiting patiently.

“Green and I used to be close,” Zelda said, softly. Shadow stiffened when he realized she was talking. “Like you and Vio. Just like that. Maybe even closer. I remember the way his smile made my head spin and how I wanted nothing more than for him to hug me a little tighter...For a while, I thought telling him would ruin what we had, so I never spoke up about it and...it was only when we both came out as pan to each other that he told me that he had...loved me in that way I always wanted for a while, but hadn’t ever acted on it because he thought I felt the same and...wanted me to make the first move. Worst part was, sometimes...I thought he might have liked me back. Or maybe the worst part was that at that minute I thought it was a good idea to spill my guts to him about everything.”

“That...” Shadow paused. “That sucks.”

“Yeah,” she sighed. “And now, I think we both have a crush on Erune and I’ve felt the strain on our relationship for a while and I don’t know how to bring it up because I’m too much of a coward.” She turned to face him. “He loves you back. It is so obvious.”

Shadow tugged at a string on his hoodie. “I...Sometimes I think he does, but...high school relationships don’t ever actually work out. We’ll break up.”

“So, are you not going to get into any relationship then?” Zelda asked. “Because of the odds-you’d rather listen to statistics then your heart?”

“I dunno, I...don’t want things to weird between us.”

“Tell him that—Vio’s smart, the two of you can figure it all out together.”

Shadow sighed, biting his lip. Outside, Vio had a light, white dusting on his shoulders and some snow flakes were in his hair, he was laughing at something, his nose just slightly red; he looked perfect. “I’ll think about it.”

“I’m not gonna lie,” Erune claimed cheerfully, catching a snow flake with her tongue. “When I first came here, I actually thought you and Shadow were already dating.”

Vio flushed—inside, Shadow had left to do something, leaving only Zelda at the doors. “We’re just friends.”

“Close friends,” Erune grinned.

“Very close friends,” Red agreed.

“Yeah. Very close friends.”

“Bookworm—we already know how gay you are for each other.” Blue rolled his eyes. “Tell him.”

Vio rolled his eyes back. “Just because we’re close doesn’t mean we’re gay for each other. I’m all for equality and everything—“ They slowly moved back towards the entrance of the building, Zelda holding the door open for them as they entered. “—and I support Shadow on his decision to come out and I do not believe someone should be ashamed of their sexual orientation—but two guys in that sort of relationship can be just as uncommon as two straight guys in a close friendship. Just because we’re close doesn’t mean we’re gay.”

“Vio,” Zelda said softly. “You are absolutely right. You are allowed to be that close with another guy and not have romantic feelings for him—but if you do have romantic feelings for Shadow, but refuse to act on them simply because you believe that all you want is a close friendship with Shadow and you would rather claim that than admit your feelings, that’d be almost...acting ashamed of your sexual orientation?”

“I’m not a—“ Vio stopped himself, clearing his throat. “Yes. That...would be true.”

“Ooh!” Blue shouted. “Zelda backed you into a corner!”

“Then...wouldn’t you rather stay true to yourself and tell him about your feelings than make him think that you’d rather pretend to be friends with him than act on your feelings?”

“I’m not pretending to be his friend,” Vio scoffed.

“But you’re pretending that that’s all you want,” Zelda said. “And you’ve been pretending that you’re straight.”

“I’m not st—I mean...” Vio crossed his arms. “Why do all of you want us to get together so bad?”

“It’s not healthy to keep it all bottled up inside, Vio!” Red exclaimed. “Just tell him you like him!”

Vio shook his head. “That’s not how it—look, I already had a chance and I blew it, I dropped the ball, I’m not going to toy with Shadow’s feelings like that.”

“Vio,” Zelda said in the sweetest, gentlest voice she could muster. “You dense idiot. By not admitting it to yourself or him you are toying with his feelings, or maybe just yours.”

Vio sighed. “How do I tell him?” He mumbled.

“Say ‘I’m gay for you,’” Blue suggested. “Then he’ll say ‘I’m gay for you, too,’ and you’ll probably make out or something.” Green elbowed him in the ribs.

“Real life is not a fanfiction, Blue.” Vio rolled his eyes. “Whatever, I-I’ll figure it—oh, hey, Shadow!”

“Right when we were making progress,” Zelda sighed, shaking her head. Shadow looked confused, but didn’t question it.

Vio had managed to grab Shadow as his partner during the next workshop and Shadow was supposed to use this super new, fancy, likely expensive makeup kid thing to make it look like Vio had bruises—this had them both sitting on wooden stools, inches apart and had Vio awkwardly staring at Shadow while he tried to apply this weird makeup to Vio’s face.

“I’m sorry,” Vio said.

Shadow blinked, as if he hadn’t quite caught that Vio was talking to him. “Huh?”

“I said I was sorry. For kissing you, I mean. I um...noticed that I had my hands on your waist when you were kissing me and...I didn’t let you go for some reason. And I didn’t really ask if I could kiss you, I mean...I did, but that was a line, and you were the one who initiated it, but...I thought we would like...stop before that happened and then decide not to do it. I thought I just..messed up back there and I thought you’d be grossed out or something. I left because I thought it’d be super awkward and didn’t want to deal with that and then realized I was being a major jerk. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything.”

“Oh,” Shadow said. “It’s fine, I guess.”

“Not if it bothered you, Shadow.” Vio sighed and drummed his fingers on his knee. “I’m sorry, if I’ve been acting weird, it’s just...I’ve been worried about you recently.”

Shadow frowned, taking a makeup brush around one of Vio’s eyes. “Why?”

“I mean...you’ve been falling asleep in class a bit more...you always have those bags under your eyes. Your parents.”

Shadow sighed. “Yeah. That’s a part of the reason I like hanging with you, Vio—I get away from them.”

“I know—and I love being around you. Look...” He sighed—did Shadow’s hand just shake now? “I’m starting to think I might be...gay.”

Shadow froze. “What?”

“I think I’m gay, Shadow.”

“Cool, cool...” Shadow was avoiding eye contact

“I...don’t want anything to be different in between us, okay?” That was a lie. Vio sighed. “I’ve just been kind of stressed, you know?” Shadow nodded quickly. “I’m sorry for acting all weird.”

“It’s cool,” Shadow said.

“Cool,” Vio breathed. He was inches apart from Shadow—a small, small part of him wanted to lean forward and kiss him again, just like when they had been acting. He forced himself to smile at Shadow. “Why don’t you finish giving me a black eye—the sooner we get out of here, the sooner we can chug root beer in our hotel room.”

He watched Vio collapse on the bed, exhausted, face first. Honestly, Shadow had almost forgot that he was going to share a room with Vio—also, Green, Blue, and Red, but in a way, that made it worse, because he knew all three of them were gonna share a bed and that meant, he was sharing one with Vio.

“Forget the root beer,” Vio groaned—his voice was muffled. “Caffeine will only keep me awake, we shall save it for the morning.”

Red was already on the other bed, his legs hanging off, grinning ear from ear and bouncing just the slightest bit. Shadow wondered, if Red replaced himself with a rubber, red ball that had a smiley face on it, would they notice it wasn’t Red so long as it kept bouncing? Green walked in, kicked off his snow boots and then flopped down beside Red, also face first.

“I dunno why you guys are all like this!” Red chirped. “It’s not that late!” Blue, having just exited the bathroom, also collapsed on the bed in the same manner Green did, between Green and Red. “Oh, Blue, are you tired too? Usually, you aren’t so tired around this time, you’d think you ran a marathon or something today—“ Blue grabbed a pillow and hit Red with it, but it was honestly pretty weak. Red fell backwards, laughing, curling up against Blue and Blue—probably because he was exhausted—didn’t shove him away. “Oh, you’re so mean to me, Blue!” Red said, but he was laughing still.

Hesitantly, Shadow moved onto the bed, sitting at the edge and removing his shoes slowly. Vio sat up and rubbed at his eyes. “Is it okay with you guys if I shut off the light?”

Red nodded, Green and Blue both muttered something, tiredly, but Vio still turned to look at him. “Shadow?”

“Go ahead,” he said, yanking his hoodie off and throwing it onto the floor.

“Okay. Night, then.” Vio yawned and switched off the lamp by their bed, pulling the covers off of the mattress and laying down. Shadow didn’t move from where he was—he swore he heard Red snickering.

Slowly, he laid down, but he couldn’t really get to sleep—was it weird he was still thinking about the kiss? He sighed and tried to close his eyes, but they immediately reopened and stayed open until his eyes adjusted to the darkness. He turned on his side until he was facing Vio. “Vio?” He whispered.

He got no response. Shadow slowly sit up, the movement of the sheets and bed clothes sounding deafening in the darkness. He glanced over Vio—he was definitely asleep, on his back, his breathing slow. Shadow swallowed—he didn’t really want to kiss Vio again, not in the dark when Vio was asleep and unaware. But, he did want to reach over and brush some of his hair out of his face—and then there was a hand, on top of the covers, Vio’s hand. He was asleep and they had been holding hands all day, so would it really be a big deal if he just reached forward and intertwined their fingers? Of course not—but would holding his hand be enough right now, with Vio’s soft breathing, and hair that glowed in the moon light, his palm warm in Shadow’s? Of course not, meaning he had to limit himself now by just looking at him.

But wouldn’t that be kind of weird? Just watching Vio while he sleeps. Of course, the thought of someone watching someone when they sleep usually brings me to mind a psycho who snuck into your room and towered over the bed, Shadow thought, but still...

He bit his lip, turned on his other side so he wasn’t facing Vio and forced himself to close his eyes and keep them closed.

Somehow though, he woke up in Vio’s arms, his chin on his shoulder.

The weird part was, Vio never commented on it and they went throughout the day like it was normal, even though it was an overnight field trip and they had slept in the same bed and Shadow was still holding Vio’s hand.

He vaguely remembered sitting in an auditorium while some man he didn’t remember the name of spoke about something drama related and something about ducks and staring at Vio’s hand in his and noticing Vio catching him staring and flushing and looking away.

And then the teacher in charge of the field trip was talking about the long drive ahead and directing them onto the bus in the rapidly cooling and darkening day and he was next to Vio again, the bus in motion and his mind in pieces.

“You okay?” Vio asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Shadow said. “Just didn’t sleep well.”

Actually, it had been the best sleep in his entire life—he had dreamed about the homecoming dance in freshmen year they had all went to together even though they doubted it’d really be any fun. While in reality, it had just been painful shoes and bad dancing and a lack of water—not to mention a bunch of straight couples being weird, slow dancing in the middle of a fast paced song, staring into each other’s eyes—or the one couple where the girl tried to kiss the guy and the guy totally ignored it, and the entire night Shadow had just wanted to slow dance with Vio but there was no way he could do that, that’d be weird between two friends, right? In his dream, he spent the entire night with Vio’s hands on his waist, his face inches away from him, and it had been heaven.

Vio just shrugged. “Alright then.”

Blue—in the back with Green and Red, Zelda and Erune closer to Vio and Shadow’s seat though they were both apparently beginning to nod off somehow—shouted. “Hey, can you turn off the heater, it’s like ninety degrees back here, we’re melting.”

“Oh,” said the teacher. “That’s good to know because it’s still freezing up here, we wouldn’t have guessed.”

Vio gave a thousand yard stare and then pulled a blanket out of his backpack. “I came prepared,” he said, draping it over the both of them. He turned to face Shadow, but something in his expression faltered. “Are you sure you’re okay, Shadow?”

“Actually, Vio...” He could feel his throat constrict, he wasn’t sure if he was breathing anymore. And everyone on the bus seemed to stop moving and talking, everything going silent except for his heart, pounding in his chest, the only sign he was still able to hear, that he was even still alive. “There’s something I think we should talk about.”

Vio sighed. “Goddesses, Shadow, you know?”

“What?”

“What?”

Shadow twisted a corner of the blanket. “You remember when...I had that crush and you didn’t know who it was and I wouldn’t tell you, but you said I had to tell you on New Year’s and then you figured out it was you and that was why I refused to talk about it?”

Vio nodded.

“Well...I still have a crush on you.” Vio’s expression was unreadable. “I’m sorry, I know you don’t feel the same, but I thought you should know and I really want us to stay friends, I...”

Without any sort of warning, Vio wrapped his arms around Shadow and pulled him close. “Shadow, I feel the same way.”

If the world hadn’t already felt so still, Shadow would have said that it went still again, but in reality, everything started moving again, making noise.

“What?” Shadow asked.

“I...have for a while. I mean, a bit after I learned that you...Shadow, I...” All of a sudden, he was laughing. “I was going to tell you, but you had already told me and I rejected you, I thought I was being cruel!”

“You’re...” He was so cold, but his face felt warm. “You’re serious?”

“Yes. Shadow, I...” he raised his hand and after a moment’s hesitation, cupped Shadow’s cheek gently. “Shadow, I love you. It took me forever to realize it, but I do.”

He felt himself grin. “Goddesses, oh my goddesses, you’re serious. I-I thought...” He realized he was laughing. He couldn’t stop laughing. “You mean I’ve been panicking like this for nothing?”

“Yeah. I...I wasn’t going to tell you, because I remembered what happened when...” He cleared his throat. “And like—these last couple of months have been rough—I think I convinced myself that somehow, you rejecting me would hurt you, but...you’re the strongest person I know, Shadow, and I’m glad to have you in my life.”

Zelda was screaming. “Oh my goddesses, Erune, are you hearing this?”

“What’s happening?” Red asked.

“Vio’s gay, that’s happening,” Blue said.

Slowly, Vio laced his fingers in his again. Shadow’s heart was about to stop. “Vio...”

Vio pulled the blanket up closer to the two of them and squeezed his hand tightly. “So...I guess I should give myself like, a month, right?”

“What?”

“To get my resume in order.” He forced himself to smile—his stomach was in knots, but in a good way. Also, he couldn’t feel his toes, he was freezing. “So I can get a job. So we can get that apartment.”

Vio grinned. “I’m so glad to hear that—but...things won’t be weird between us, right? I mean...under the assumption, we’re a couple now...” Vio flushed and grabbed at his arm with his other arm. “Which, it’s totally okay if you don’t want to be a couple, just because we both have a crush on each other, I mean, I don’t expect you to be absolutely in love with me now, even if I’m in love with you or anything, but like—you won’t feel weird living in the same apartment as me, right? I mean...normally, when a couple does something like that, they’ve been together for awhile.”

“Do you always stammer like that when you’re nervous? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you nervous like that, it’s adorable.”

Vio smiled. “But seriously, though, Shadow. Are you sure you’ll be comfortable there? I don’t want us to rush into anything.”

“Well... We have three months before you turn eighteen and you can move out, so...”

Shadow smiled and leaned closer to him. “I...honestly can’t believe this is happening.” 

Zelda was squealing, “Erune, Erune, it worked!”

Shadow turned away from Vio and towards her. “What worked?”

“Our brilliant plan to get you two together!” Red shouted from his place with the others. Multiple people looked at them in confusion.

“...Wait, you WHAT?”

“It was Zelda’s idea,” Erune chirped, gesturing to her. Zelda should have been scared, because she just evoked their wrath, but instead, she was grinning proudly.

“Zelda did tell me to tell you because she thought you liked me back...”

“I asked Zelda if she thought you liked me back and she said she didn’t know!”

“Your welcome!” 

Vio sighed and squeezed Shadow’s hand. 

“It’s snowing again,” Shadow pointed out.

Vio nodded. “That it is.”

“It’s so late and so cold.”

“Yep.”

Everything got quiet. Everyone on the bus seemed to wind down as they slowly, but surely approached the school parking lot—Shadow noticed Vio looked at his watch. “If we get there in the next thirty minutes, I might be able to make it home before my mom’s weird, new year’s dinner party ends—late enough my relatives will be too tired to force me to say hi, but early enough I can still steal food and hopefully chug unhealthy amounts of apple cider in my bedroom.”

Shadow frowned. “My parents said to text them when we back at the school, but they still have my phone from when they were going through my texts.”

“They were going through your texts?”

“They wanted to read them to see if I was gay.”

“Wait, really?”

Suddenly, Shadow realized that wasn’t normal. “I had to delete you from my contacts cause I was worried they’d get suspicious.”

They sat there for a minute, staring awkwardly at each other. “If you want, I can take you home. I wouldn’t mind driving you, I parked my car across the street from the school, at Mx. Le’s cafe, she told me I could.”

“Are you sure, don’t you have apple cider waiting for you?”

Slowly, Vio reached his other hand out and cupped Shadow’s cheek. “Yeah, but...I think I have something better than apple cider right here.”

“What if it’s sparkling cider?”

Vio frowned. “That’s a bit tougher, but I still like you better. Honestly, you could come over if you wanted to. Steal some apple cider. Ever since I came out to them, they’ve been asking if I have a boyfriend—plus, Green, Red, and Blue are already coming over in an attempt to steal all the cheese in the fridge I have.” He raised his voice and turned to face the back of the bus. “Because they’re jerks!” He went back to facing Shadow, still cupping his face.

“Are you sure it won’t be weird for me to be over since we just—wait, when did you come out to them? Wait, we’re dating now?”

“...We are, right?” Vio asked. “I mean, we don’t have to if you don’t want to, I just don’t know...”

“No, no, I...It’d be nice to go into the new year calling you my boyfriend...to anyone that isn’t at home. Um...sure, I’ll come over!” Hesitantly, he rested his hand over the one on his cheek and sighed. “So long as you’re okay with it.”

“I invited you, of course I’m okay with it.” The look in Vio’s eyes seemed so gentle.

Shadow swallowed. “It’s not that I’m not enjoying this, but um...how long are we going to stare into each other’s eyes?”

“I’m good with until I regain feeling in my toes,” Vio said. “Or I work up the courage to ask if I can kiss you.”

“It’s like thirty degrees on here, so either we’re going to be here for hours or...” His gaze moved to Vio’s lips. He remembered al those stupid books he had borrowed from Vio over the years and in all the romance ones, the main character would describe their love interest’s lips as warm, or soft, or—in that one, very stupid one—cushiony. At the moment, Vio’s just looked chapped. 

“Can I kiss you then?” Vio asked.

Shadow swore he was back to practicing his lines with Vio—just like then, he leaned forward and kissed Vio himself—except, he pulled away like his lips had burned his and was blushing like crazy. “Oh, wow, that was bad.”

“...Nothing like in the movies,” Vio agreed. “Or novels. Was that like, a normal type of bad or...”

“Can you just kiss me now, I don’t think I should be legally allowed to kiss you anymore.”

Vio sighed and leaned forward. “Goddesses, I wish I brought some chapstick with me on this field trip.” Without another word, he kissed Vio again.

It was short, Shadow knew, but really sweet. There wasn’t any actual fireworks, but he felt a warmth in his chest and at that exact moment, the bus driver slammed on the brakes and everyone in the vehicle jerked forward and slammed their head onto the seat in front of him, but he didn’t care.

Vio squeezed his hand again while he righted himself, leaning against Vio again and sighing. Well...I’m gay, he decided.


End file.
